The Secret to a Clean Slate

 

Take a break.

Try to set aside all the things flying around in your head right now. I have something for you to focus on for a couple minutes.

Think of the things you've done that you know God's not happy with. The old-school term is sin. Think about that.

Think about how the things you have done or left undone are the reasons Jesus went to the cross. Think about all the things that give God every right to turn his back on you.

Seriously. Make a list if you have to.

And now...consider how the death of Jesus wipes that slate clean.

As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:12 (CSB)

Now...take another break.

Think of the things people have done that you are not happy with...how people have disappointed you, disrespected you, and even betrayed you.

Seriously. Make a list if you have to.

Is there anything on this second list that is worse than what's on the first?

Be honest.

Is there anything on the second list that would send anybody to hell faster than what's on the first?

And now...consider what your attitude should be.

I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.
Shouldn’t you also have had mercy
on your fellow servant,
as I had mercy on you?

Matthew 18:32-33 (CSB)

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...Forgiving others their wrongs against you is not only "fair play". It is absolutely necessary if you want Yahweh to forgive you. "For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses." (Matthew 6:14-15 CSB)

Light vs Darkness: No Contest

 

First John 1:5-7

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

What I am about to say may seem controversial, but I am convinced of its truth:

There is no such thing as darkness.

What we think of as darkness is just an absence of light. For instance, we have these magical sticks where you can press a button or click a switch and a beam of light shoots out. They are called flashlights.

However...

There is no such thing as a flashdark.

And contrary to what some movie reviews may say, there is no classic contest between dark and light. You turn on a flashlight and the beam of light doesn't struggle to get out. It doesn't have to slowly and with much effort push back the darkness.

No.

When it comes to darkness. Whenever light shows up, light wins!

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...That's the way it is with Yahweh, too. What did John say? "If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus purifies us from all sin!" Let the light of God reach every remote corner of your soul and you can celebrate being purified from all sin!

Why Do We Wander?

 

A former co-worker messaged me out of the blue:

Asking for myself  -  why do we sometimes wander from God? Why do we get caught up in the world? Just some deep thoughts this morning.

My response:

Deep in the realm of My Personal Take here, but I do think these thoughts are Scripturalesque-ish. We sometimes wander from God because we are bent toward sin. Our human nature is one that wants its own way. We are NOT basically nice people who sometimes "make mistakes". Without Jesus, we are dead set against the things and ways of God. And I do mean dead.

Now, when we accept Jesus' work on the cross, we are instantly forgiven and justified...just as if I'd never sinned. But the work of being sanctified, actually being made holy, is a longer process. We LEARN to walk in step with the Spirit, but there are many missteps along the way.

The ways of the world are right here in our face 24/7 and we ARE called to be in the world...just not to be OF the world. To live in the midst of something but not accept its wrong motives/desires/priorities is challenging.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...I am grateful for this opportunity to focus on the fundamentals of faith. It reminds me to be thankful for Yahweh's everlasting love and overwhelming grace.

A Thankful Stream of Consciousness

 

Getting into a sun-warmed vehicle on a crisp autumn day

My car starting immediately and running smoothly

Having an app on my phone that verbally directs me on the fastest route

Arriving 15 minutes earlier than needed

Sharing a meal with a friend

Having friends who like eating and laughing with me

Having friends who actually pray for me when I ask

Having a Lord who listens to prayers

Jesus providing answers that are even better than my requests

Being loved and forgiven

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...I am thankful.

Feeling Like You're Hiding Something?

 

There's a fairly widespread phenomenon that affects people in an expansive range of occupations. It's called Imposter's Syndrome and it means you don't feel worthy of the accomplishments you've made or the opportunities you've enjoyed. The classic example is an Oscar-winning actor waiting for someone to realize they can't act.

It directly relates to the latest word I've discovered in John Koenig's The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows:

the giltwrights - n. `the imaginary committee of elders that keeps a running log of all your mistakes, steadily building their case that you're secretly a fraud, a coward, a doofus  -  who would've revoked your good fortune years ago had they not been hampered by their own bitter squabblings over proper grammar and spelling. [Old English gilt, awareness of wrongdoing + wrought, shaped with hammers.]

For most of us, there's no need to create an imaginary group to keep that log. We do a fine job of compiling a list of our faults all on our own.

That's bad enough. The trouble with this is compounded when we assign the role of giltwright to Yahweh...the very being who forgives us for all those things we are putting on our lists.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 (NLT)

Repentance

 

More wisdom from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis (compiled and edited by James N. Watkins):

O Lord, I am not worthy of your comfort nor any sense of your presence. You would have dealt justly with me if you had left me poor and deserted. For if I were able to pour forth tears like the sea, I would still not be worthy of your comfort.... What have I done, O Lord, that you should sprinkle any heavenly comfort on me? I remember no good that I have done, but I have been ever prone to sin and slow to repentance. It is true, and I cannot deny it.... But what do you require of guilty and miserable sinners? That they be sorry and humble themselves for their sin. Only in true sorrow and humiliation of heart do we hope for pardon, for our troubled conscience to be reconciled, for lost grace to be recovered...

Truth is...as long as I think God's too picky and I'm not all that bad, I am without hope. But the moment I realize my utter need, Yahweh, like the prodigal son's father, meets me more than halfway and showers me with love, affection, and restoration.

JC Is the WTL

 

If you've spent any time at all around Christians or in church services, chances are high that you've heard several references to the words of Jesus in John 14:6:

"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."

In The Imitation of Christ, Thomas à Kempis expands on that:

Without my way, you cannot go. Without my truth, you cannot know. And without my life, you cannot grow. I am the way which you must follow, the truth you must believe, and the life for which you must hope. I am the way never changing, the truth never failing, and the life never ending. I am the straight way, the supreme truth, and the true, blessed, and uncreated life.

Jesus Music pioneer, Keith Green, put it like this:

https://youtu.be/olOZHHgk_4M

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...I need to spend some time flat on my face, crying out for forgiveness, and repenting from all the times I have tried going my own way, expounding my opinion instead of His truth, living life on my own power instead of being keenly aware of my dependence on Yahweh.

Whether Your Candidate Won or Lost...

 

In these days following the mid-term elections, let's make something abundantly clear.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)  -  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

(NLT)  -  Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

(Phillips)  -  Let there be no more resentment, no more anger or temper, no more violent self-assertiveness, no more slander and no more malicious remarks, Be kind to each other, be understanding. Be as ready to forgive others as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.

(Voice)  -  Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander, and any and all malicious thoughts — these are poison. Instead, be kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through the Anointed, our Liberating King.

(Amplified)  -  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor [perpetual animosity, resentment, strife, fault-finding] and slander be put away from you, along with every kind of malice [all spitefulness, verbal abuse, malevolence]. Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.

(The Message)  -  Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...If you can recognize your own need for forgiveness and have gladly received it from Yahweh, how could it be possible to withhold such a blessing from anyone else?

Pearls Before Swine On Forgiveness

 

Stephan Pastis' long-running comic strip, Pearls Before Swine, recently ran three panels that clearly pronounced a truth about forgiveness that I've spent several blog entries trying to make clear.

We begin with Rat's vengeful goal.

Then we see how Pig is affected by Rat's efforts.

Finally, Goat uses sarcasm to bring the point home.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...when Jesus tells us to forgive one another and love our enemies and all that, it really is in our best interest, not just some highfalutin grasp at moral superiority.

How I Learned that Forgiveness Benefits the Forgiver

 

I was fired from my first youth ministry position.

Now, if you were a member of that church and you just read that sentence and you thought, "I thought you resigned," you would not be alone. Back in those days, when the leadership wanted a pastor to be gone, they allowed the pastor to tender a resignation. This allowed the departing pastor to avoid the stigma of Being Fired.

I survived the trauma, obviously, and went on to serve at three other churches before putting lock-ins permanently in my past.

The thing is, the one elder who was most responsible for my departure from that first ministry position stuck in my mind. Any time I heard a sermon or lesson about our need to forgive one another, my thoughts turned to him. It even got to the point where I couldn't enjoy the sitcom, Head of the Class, because one of the actors looked a lot like that one elder.

I finally realized that I was harboring a grudge against him and that I needed to heed the words of Jesus in Mark 11:25, "When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

I needed to forgive the man or I would be carrying around a burden of bitterness the rest of my life.

So, I wrote him a letter that explained how I felt he had personally undermined my work with the youth and manipulated the board of elders into getting rid of me. But I also said that I believed he thought he was doing what was best for the church and that I was no longer going to harbor any ill will toward him.

His response acknowledged that he had received my letter and that he had heard I was doing well at my new church. There were no words of apology or regret...and that was just fine with me.

Truth is...once you've forgiven someone, they no longer hold any power over your personal peace or sense of worth.

Whose Side Are You On and Does It Make a Difference?

 

Today we find our hero (Calvin of Bill Watterson's Calvin & Hobbes) making a grave mistake.

Sadly, an attempt to remedy the situation doesn't mitigate his teammates' wrath.

There are two ways to go with this:

       1. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Just as Calvin felt proud of his accomplishment in getting the out, there are times when a person thinks they're doing a good thing when it's really a score for "the other side." Case in point: thinking you're taking a stand for righteousness when what you're really accomplishing is the continuation of a people-hating, Bible-thumping stereotype that has never drawn anyone into the Kingdom.

       2. What kind of army kills its wounded? Calvin's teammates could have turned this into a teachable moment and help mold Calvin into a productive member of the team. Instead, they condemned and rejected him. Kind of like blogging about Bible-thumpers.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...We've all stood on both sides of this equation and are equally dependent on the grace of God.

Why Jesus Is Returning

 

Per the Nicene Creed:

To judge the living and the dead

Per the Holy Bible:

And I saw a great white throne and the one sitting on it. The earth and sky fled from his presence, but they found no place to hide. I saw the dead, both great and small, standing before God’s throne. And the books were opened, including the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to what they had done, as recorded in the books. The sea gave up its dead, and death and the grave gave up their dead. And all were judged according to their deeds. Then death and the grave were thrown into the lake of fire. This lake of fire is the second death. And anyone whose name was not found recorded in the Book of Life was thrown into the lake of fire.

Revelation 20:11-15 (NLT)

We apostles are witnesses of all he did throughout Judea and in Jerusalem. They put him to death by hanging him on a cross, but God raised him to life on the third day. Then God allowed him to appear, not to the general public, but to us whom God had chosen in advance to be his witnesses. We were those who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. And he ordered us to preach everywhere and to testify that Jesus is the one appointed by God to be the judge of all — the living and the dead.

Acts 10:39-42

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...people nowadays don't much like the word "judge". "Judge not lest you be judged" (Matthew 7:1) is a far-more-quoted verse than even John 3:16. We don't like the idea of being held accountable for our actions. But the really good news is that when Jesus judges, the action of submitting ourselves to His Lordship, no matter how imperfectly we may live it out, trumps all the sins and mistakes we ever make. He won't pretend that we've never done anything wrong, but he will apply HIS payment of OUR penalty to our ledger.

"He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west."

Psalm 103:12

What Are You Dragging Around?

Pearls Before Swine, by Stephan Pastis, is usually heavy on the snark and light on the poignancy, but this time...

Truth is...whether it's a dull, psychological heartache that thwarts all attempts to infuse lightness and joy into your life or the burden of unforgiveness toward another or yourself, you really do "gotta let that go."

The song, "Lay Your Burden Down", by seminal Jesus rocker Chuck Girard, may be just what the doctor ordered for you. Have a blessed day.

https://youtu.be/iEXP1-7Xu-o 

Loving Like Jesus...Yikes: Top 25 Jesus Quotes: #8

I'm not sure what I expected when I started writing about the top 25 quotes about Jesus as listed at azquotes.com, but I certainly didn't expect to be challenged to the extent that these words of Ravi Zacharias challenge me.

"Love is a commitment that will be tested in the most vulnerable areas of spirituality, a commitment that will force you to make some very difficult choices. It is a commitment that demands that you deal with your lust, your greed, your pride, your power, your desire to control, your temper, your patience, and every area of temptation that the Bible clearly talks about. It demands the quality of commitment that Jesus demonstrates in His relationship to us."

You might read that and think that Jesus has an easy job of loving us. He doesn't HAVE any lust or greed or pride that he has to deal with.

Think again.

He has to deal with OUR lust and greed and pride and, and, and....

And that can be a pretty tough row to hoe.

Let's put it in terms you can relate to: What if your special someone came and admitted that they have been cheating on you? How easy would it be for you to forgive? How easy would it be for you to swallow your pride and your sense of being betrayed? How easily could you die to all those feelings of hurt and keep on loving them?

Not easy...but worth it.

Worth it because the alternative would be to continue living in a stagnate pool of low self-esteem and high expectations; wallowing in the muddy sludge of holding a grudge; drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.

Truth is...Jesus loves us in spite of how we treat him. His commitment to desiring what's best for us never wavers. And we are called to love each other the same way. Paul wrote Ephesians 5:25 to husbands, but it can certainly apply to wives as well:

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Our Father, Which Art in - SQUIRREL!

Do you ever have trouble concentrating?

Apparently, one of Brother Lawrence's correspondents had written to him confessing that his mind would wander during times of prayer. The first sentence of BL's reply is, in itself, an empathetic encouragement: "You tell me nothing new: you are not the only one that is troubled with wandering thoughts. Our mind is extremely roving."

BL quickly goes from commiseration to wise words of advice:

I believe one remedy for this is to confess our faults, and to humble ourselves before God. I do not advise you to use multiplicity of words in prayer; many words and long discourses being often the occasions of wandering; hold yourself in prayer before God like a dumb or paralytic beggar at a rich man's gate; let it be your business to keep your mind in the presence of the Lord; if it sometimes wander and withdraw itself from Him, do not much disquiet yourself for that; trouble and disquiet serve rather to distract the mind than to recollect it; the will must bring it back in tranquility; if you persevere in this manner God will have pity on you.

Truth is...it does no good to wallow around in our shortcomings. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start all over again.
   

The Cost of Forgiveness

Colossians 3:13 is used quite a bit to encourage believers to forgive people who have wronged them, and rightly so. I mean, just read it:

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

Nice and simple in the New International Version, right? You should forgive others because, after all, God forgave you.

That's the way it's always been taught to me, but just yesterday I started really thinking about that last phrase: "...as the Lord forgave you."

Paul didn't say "because the Lord forgave you." He said "as." As in, "Forgive in the same way the Lord forgave you."

My standard flesh-out-the-meaning translation, the Amplified Bible, says it like this: "just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive."

And then it struck me.

Think of what God did in order to forgive you! Yahweh doesn't just flippantly override His perfect justice and say, "Don't worry about all the wrong you've done. I've decided it doesn't matter."

No.

In order to satisfy justice and yet offer us forgiveness, the God of all creation made the greatest sacrifice of all. "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13 NIV)

It cost Jesus His very life to be able to forgive us. Why would we expect to be able to forgive others without it costing us something? For example, when I've forgiven someone, I've promised to never bring the matter up again...and that's a hard promise to keep. How many times have I wanted to say, "But what about the time I forgave you for...?!!?"

Truth is...forgiveness has never been easy, but for any kind of relationship to work, or just to be able to walk through life without the burden of keeping a grudge intact, it's absolutely necessary.

Shot Down

I don't know how you respond to nasty rumors, but I do know how Larry Norman did. He wrote and recorded the song, "Shot Down", and made it the second song on the second side of his album, In Another Land.

It's got a good beat, is easy to dance to, and points out that it's wrong to cut people down instead of building them up. I give it a 95.

I've been shot down, talked about

Some people scandalize my name

But here I am, talkin' 'bout Jesus just the same

I've been knocked down, kicked around

But like a moth drawn to the flame

Here I am, talkin' 'bout Jesus just the same

I've been rebuked for the things I've said

For the songs I've written and the life I've led

They say they don't understand me, well I'm not surprised

Because you can't see nothing when you close your eyes

They say I'm sinful, backslidden

That I have left to follow fame

But here I am, talkin' 'bout Jesus just the same

You wanna talk about my life, hey listen to me

You got your facts all backwards, one two three

And spreading rumors and gossip is a real bad game

The only name to spread is Jesus' name

I've been shot down, kicked around

But like a moth drawn to the flame

Here I am, talkin' 'bout Jesus, brother

Here I am, talkin' 'bout Jesus, sister

Here I am, talkin' 'bout Jesus just the same

©1976 Beechwood Music Corp.

J.C. Love Publishing Co.

Truth is...none of us is perfect. All of us are flawed. It is only the love and forgiveness of Jesus that makes anything any of us say worthy of being listened to.

So Will I

We sang this song as part of our worship at my church. I was supposed to lead the congregation in prayer right after it. It took me a bit to get the catch out of my throat and the tears out of my eyes.

God of creation
There at the start, before the beginning of time
With no point of reference
You spoke to the dark and fleshed out the wonder of light

And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapour of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship, so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You've made
Every burning star, a signal fire of grace
If creation sings Your praises, so will I

God of Your promise
You don't speak in vain, no syllable empty or void
For once You have spoken
All nature and science, follow the sound of Your voice

And as You speak
A hundred billion creatures catch Your breath
Evolving in pursuit of what You said
If it all reveals Your nature, so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You say
Every painted sky, a canvas of Your grace
If creation still obeys You, so will I
So will I, so will I

If the stars were made to worship, so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence, so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness, so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high, so will I
And if the wind goes where You send it, so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence, so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we'll sing again a hundred billion times!

God of salvation
You chased down my heart through all of my failure and pride
On a hill You created
The light of the world abandoned in darkness to die

And as You speak
A hundred billion failures disappear
Where You lost Your life so I could find it here
If You left the grave behind You, so will I
I can see Your heart in everything You've done
Every part designed in a work of art called love
If You gladly chose surrender, so will I
I can see in Your heart, eight billion different ways
Every precious one, a child You died to save
If You gave Your life to love them, so will I

Like You would again a hundred billion times
But what measure could amount to Your desire?

You're the One who never leaves the one behind
"So Will I"
Benjamin Hastings, Michael Fatkin, Joel Houston

https://youtu.be/VrN_3ZmGM3I

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...Just as the good shepherd leaves the 99 sheep grazing on the hillside and risks everything to go find the one little lamb who wandered away (Matthew 18:12), so Jesus left the glories of Heaven to scoop me up from whatever metaphorical briar-filled ditch I'd gotten myself stuck in. I must...I simply must join in with all of creation in praising Him and expending all my life's energies for the glory of His name and the spreading of His love.

When E. F. Hutton Speaks...

Am I the only one here old enough to remember the E. F. Hutton commercials?

The scene would be a busy restaurant or a tennis match. Two people would be having a semi-private conversation, and one would say to the other, "Well, my broker is E. F. Hutton, and he says-" at which point, all other activity and noise would immediately stop and everyone's attention would be focused; intent on hearing the sage advice of E. F. Hutton. "When E. F. Hutton speaks, people listen."

I had an E. F. Hutton kind of moment recently while reading A Glimpse of Jesus, by Brennan Manning. When one of your favorite writers chooses to pass along a lengthy quote from "the most important book [he's] read outside the Bible"  -  a book that "has revolutionized [his] understanding of Christ and the meaning of Christian discipleship"  -  it might be a good idea to pay attention.

Hence, this excerpt from On Being a Christian, by Hans Kung.

The church of Jesus Christ is a home not only for the morally upright but for the moral failures and for those who for a variety of reasons have not been able to honor denominational teaching. The Church is a healing community proclaiming the Father's indiscriminate love and unconditional grace, offering pardon, reconciliation and salvation to the down-trodden and leaving the judgment to God.

A Church that will not accept the fact that it consists of sinful men and exists for sinful men becomes hard-hearted, self-righteous, inhuman. It deserves neither God's mercy nor men's trust. But if a Church with a history of fidelity and infidelity, of knowledge and error, takes seriously the fact that it is only in God's Kingdom that the wheat is separated from the tares, good fish from bad, sheep from goats, a holiness will be acknowledged in it by grace which it cannot create for itself.

Such a Church is then aware that it has no need to present a spectacle of higher morality to society, as if everything in it were ordered to the best. It is aware that its faith is weak, its knowledge dim, its profession of faith halting, that there is not a single sin or failing which it has not in one way or another been guilty of. And though it is true that the Church must always dissociate itself from sin, it can never have any excuse for keeping any sinners at a distance. If the Church self-righteously remains aloof from failures, irreligious and immoral people, it cannot enter justified into God's kingdom. But if it is constantly aware of its guilt and sin, it can live in joyous awareness of forgiveness. The promise has been given to it that anyone who humbles himself will be exalted.

Truth is...forgiveness and grace are a messy business, and it's good to have close companions along the way. That's what I call Church, and that's what I wish for each person reading these words.

You Can't BE "Good Enough"

More from Watchman Nee's The Normal Christian Life:

God's way of deliverance is altogether different from man's way. Man's way is to try to suppress sin by seeking to overcome it; God's way is to remove the sinner. Many Christians mourn over their weakness, thinking that if only they were stronger all would be well. The idea that, because failure to lead a holy life is due to our impotence, something more is therefore demanded of us, leads naturally to this false conception of the way of deliverance. If we are preoccupied with the power of sin and with our inability to meet it, then we naturally conclude that to gain the victory over sin we must have more power. "If only I were stronger," we say, "I could overcome my violent outbursts of temper," and so we plead with the Lord to strengthen us that we may exercise more self-control.

But this is altogether a fallacy; it is not Christianity. God's means of delivering us from sin is not by making us stronger and stronger, but by making us weaker and weaker. That is surely rather a peculiar way of victory, you say; but it is the divine way. God sets us free from the dominion of sin, not by strengthening our old man but by crucifying him.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Truth is...There's not a thing you can do to gain forgiveness from your sins or deliverance from the power of Sin over you. Trying harder won't do it. Praying harder won't do it. Locking yourself in a tower or stranding yourself on a remote island won't do it. Only when you realize that it's not about what you do...but it's all about what Jesus did...only then will God's forgiveness and grace take its full effect in your soul.