Tuesday, April 24, 2018

A Noisy Silence

I got back Sunday afternoon from a weekend retreat focusing on silence and solitude. Even though it was extremely quiet, there sure was a lot of noise in my head, as witnessed by this journal entry:

4/22/18  Pacem in Terris

I've been going through several different trains of thought about this whole Silence & Solitude experience.

"No wonder people become monks."  -  This is a great existence for us introverts. Wake up whenever. Sit and stare out the window with a warm beverage in hand. Read, walk, nap...What's not to like?

"I feel like I ought to be DOING something."  -  There is a definite undercurrent of almost guilt; like I should be accomplishing some task. The idea of just "be"-ing is really hard to live out.

"Should I be hearing God's voice?"  -  I guess this is really turning the previous thought around and expecting God to be saying it. I feel like GOD should be doing something.

"What a selfish thing to do."  -  I've specifically absolved myself of all earthly responsibilities and set aside this time to just "hang out" with God. No wonder my first thought was "Cool!"

"Detox is hard work."  -  Getting rid of outer distractions is a cake walk compared to trying to shut off the constant karaoke going on in my brain.

"I need to get better at this."  -  This must not be a one-time event. At least once a year is a bare minimum. Also, getting alone with God doesn't have to involve being in a mini-cabin in the woods. It helps, but it's not a requirement.

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Truth is...I am grateful for the vision of Pacem in Terris Hermitage Retreat Center. They have created an excellent spot for quiet reflexion and personal communion with our living Lord.

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