Have I told you that I got laid off from my full-time job as a Technical Writer back in September? (Why yes, I see here that I have.) It wasn't the first time I lost a job, so it's not entirely new ground for me to walk on, but it's a new world since the last time this has happened.
I'm older...which carries with it an undercurrent of preconceived notions. But I also have a broader range of work experiences and successes...which should make me more marketable than I've ever been before.
In the midst of this emotional balancing act, a book jumped into my lap: Why Did I Lose My Job If God Loves Me?: Help and Hope During Career Transition, by Rick J. Pritikin. I've never actually asked that question, but the book cost next to nothing and, like I said, pretty much jumped off the shelf at me...so I bought it.
It's set up as a once-a-day devotional, and the very first day's reading made it abundantly clear that this purchase was smack dab in the middle of what God wanted me to do.
Titled "This Is for My Good?", the main point is that God specializes in using the tough times of our lives to grow us into the people He wants us to be, not the least of which is people who are more fervently in contact with Him. The Scriptural springboard for the piece is Psalm 18:6..."In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice; my cry came before Him, into His ears."
I believe I've usually believed that any rough spots in the road have been for my gain. But I think I have accepted/expected that so much that I've never spent a lot of time "wrestling with God" about it. Oh for sure, the experience of the loss of my first vocational ministry was traumatic and worrisome, but I'm not sure it ever really resulted in more intense or intimate prayer.
Even now, when I have many earthly reasons to believe that I'm not going to be offered a writing position anywhere, I don't find myself pleading with God - more just trusting that He'll work it all out the way He's always done in the past.
Truth is...that sounds like it's so spiritually mature, but I'm not sure whether it's not just laziness.